She Has His Heart, They're Being Torn Apart
by Insane Vampiress
Summary: Buffy thinks about the vampire that said that Spike was his sire and realizes something. Buffy/Spike. Chapter 3 finally up!
1. Lies or the Truth?

Title: She Has His Heart, They're Being Torn Apart  
Setting: Post-"Conversations with Dead People"  
Pairing: Buffy/Spike  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Buffy thinks about the vampire that said that Spike was his sire and realizes some-  
thing. Willow and Dawn tell her about their ghostly encounters. Buffy/Spike fic.  
Disclaimer: The bloody bastard Joss Whedon and others who aren't me own the show and charac-  
ters such as Buffy and Spike, I wouldn't keep them apart.  
Author's Note: "Conversations with Dead People" disturbed me to the core of my being, was   
able to burn my heart to ashes, and ultimately ripped my soul apart. I was depressed so I   
decided to write something happier and Spuffy related.  
  
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Chapter 1: Lies or the Truth?  
  
Buffy was walking home, her face showing a look of confusion and betrayal. 'Maybe Holden   
was lying. How could this be true? My William can't be killing again. Did I just call him   
MY WILLIAM?! Well, that's not the issue right now'. That was all her mind contradicted   
before she restarted back on her real train of thought. She was silently sobbing now. She   
barely noticed that the house was absolutely wrecked. She walked through the open door and   
saw Dawn sitting on the stairs with an axe in her lowered hand and pieces of shattered glass   
all around her. Though, the only thing on the slayer's mind was Spike. 'Why would my last   
lover do this?' The cynical part of her mind answered this. 'Spike was lying. The chip   
doesn't work and he never got his soul back.' A part of her that believed in her heart told   
her something she hoped was right. 'He wouldn't lie to me, especially about his soul. He   
loves me, so much. Remember what Glory did to him? Spike didn't tell her about the Key   
because of me and Dawn. I witnessed him burning his flesh on a crucifix, that is one thing   
I will never forget, even if the world ends and I die again. He said he wouldn't hurt me,   
but he then slept with Anya, that hurt a lot(they WERE drunk and lonely). But, I'm not   
forgetting that he did try to RAPE ME! Then again, seeing his face after I dumped him was   
really hard, that was the morning after we really....'  
  
Buffy then realized that an anguished Dawn was speaking to her. "Are you angry about the   
house? I was just trying to help mom."  
  
"What are you talking about, Dawn... did you say something about mom." Buffy wasn't crying   
anymore, but was still blinking tears from her eyes. 'Mom trusted Spike not to kill her   
before he got the chip... she let him drink cocoa with little marshmallows and listened to   
him complain about Dru. God, I miss mom, she would know what to do. Of course I could talk   
to....'  
  
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Spike was back to wearing his human face again. He looked at the girl's body, where he saw   
the blood smeared on her neck next to two tiny punctures in her jugular. Then he looked at   
her face and shuddered.  
  
Suddenly, the image flashed before him of Buffy's lifeless body lying in the rubble beneath   
the tower. Tears started flowing freely from his eyes.  
  
"Drusilla" now stood next to him.  
  
"Don't cry, Spike. It was supposed to be like this, the stars tell me so."  
  
Spike looked at "her" and although he was still crying, he said, "Right, pet. It's supposed   
to be this way." 'Buffy. She would never say this was right. I'm sorry, love. I'm so very   
sorry.'  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
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Author's Note 2: Weird beginning isn't it? I started this idea an hour or two after   
"Conversations with Dead People" was on. Please read and review. By the way, sorry if this   
was a short chapter:). 


	2. What Has He Done?

Author's Note: Thank you, to those of you that reviewed. Reviews encourage me to write more. Please review if you have a question, comment, or idea about my story, I'll try to answer questions in the author's note. By the way, I may not be following the events on "Angel" correctly. It's hard because 'Apocalypse Now-ish' isn't on until tonight. Thanks for reading! Only Spuffy, don't worry, there will be ABSOLUTELY NO BUFFY/ANGEL, except for a little bit of friendship.  
  
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Chapter 2: What Has He Done?  
  
Buffy picked the phone up off of the receiver, then, she put it back down. 'Should I call him? He was a vampire who got his soul back. How would I explain about Spike, especially since they don't get along and I don't know the specifics of how Spike got his soul back. Damn, this is gonna be hard.'  
  
She picked the phone up again, and dialed. After it rang twice, she was going to change her mind and hang up, when someone answered.  
  
"Um, hello this is Angel Investigations. We help the helpless."  
  
"Is Angel there?"  
  
"Depends. Who is this?"  
  
"This is Buffy, I'm sort of a friend of his." 'And his grandchilde' she thought.  
  
"Oh! Aren't you that girl who died and came back?!"  
  
  
"Yeah... who're you?"  
  
"My name is Fred, Winifred actually. I'll go get Angel, he'll probably want to talk to you."  
  
Buffy could hear a few other people in the background, and was waiting impatiently for him to come to the phone.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Hey, Angel. Are you busy right now?"  
  
"No more than usual since Cordy came back. Why?"  
  
'God, how do I say this to him.' "Spike...."  
  
Now she had his full attention, "What about Spike?" She could hear the anger in his voice.  
  
'Shit! I forgot to tell Angel about Spike when we talked after I came back. And now I'm not sure if his chip still works.' "He's been in town for awhile, and-"  
  
He cut her off, "How long? Has he hurt you?" The anger was rising in him and was about to explode.  
  
"Spike has been in Sunnydale for a little over three years," she said, ashamed that she hadn't told him. Buffy knew they weren't in love anymore, but he was still a friend.  
  
"Why haven't you staked him?! Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
In the background she could hear someone ask, "Why haven't they staked who?"  
  
"He was sort of my friend last year." 'My lover, too. I shouldn't think about that right now, he might have killed people. Of course, maybe his soul had a happiness clause... no, don't think about that, he loves me.'  
  
"Why didn't you stake him before then?"  
  
"He had a government chip in his head!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"He couldn't hurt humans."  
  
"Wait. You're using the past tense. Does the chip still work? Did it get removed?"  
  
"I don't know, that's part of why I called."  
  
"Can he hit you?"  
  
"Yeah, but-"  
  
"That means the chip doesn't work and you should stake him."  
  
"There's more to it than that. Spike has been able to hit me since I came back."  
  
"He's dangerous, stake him."  
  
Tears started welling up in her eyes. "My William got something else, too."  
  
"What did he get?.... Wait! You just called him YOUR WILLIAM! What the hell is going on, Buffy?!"  
  
She was crying now. "He pulled an Angel on us."  
  
"What do you mean? That doesn't answer my questions!"  
  
Buffy decided to just shock him by just blurting a couple of things out. "I slept with him before he got a soul!" she said quickly.  
  
There was dead silence. Angel was stunned. "Wha? I must not be hearing right, I thought you just said...."  
  
"I did."  
  
"You're kidding, right? Right?"  
  
"No, I wouldn't joke about that."  
  
"It was only one lapse of judgment, right?"  
  
"No.... It happened a lot. But, the main issue is the soul."  
  
"YOU SLEPT WITH SPIKE! MORE THAN ONCE?!"  
  
"Yeah, but the soul...."  
  
"What soul? What are you talking about?"  
  
"What do you remember about The First?"  
  
"The first what?"  
  
"Evil."  
  
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Spike used the spare key he had to go bach into Xander's apartment. 'Killing isn't as fun as it used to be. Buffy will never forgive me.'  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
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Author's Note 2: Sorry that there wasn't much info in this chapter. I'll try to get another one up soon. Please remember to read and review. 


	3. Demon or Man?

Author's Note: The title of this chapter sucks, I know. The worst fact about this is: analyzing the title of this chapter makes me cry. I know, I'm a very strange person, 'cause I also cried when Buffy "dumped" Spike in 'As You Were'.  
  
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Chapter 3: Demon or Man?  
  
~Buffy walked through the cemetery, it felt strange somehow though. She walked right to Spike's old crypt, she couldn't figure out why. When she opened the door, he was there.  
  
"I new you'd be here soon," he said to her with a smile.  
  
The Slayer looked around and wondered why he was here, and why the crypt looked like it did before she blew it up. "What's going on?"  
  
His sapphire eyes looked deeply into hers and that's when she realized it, this wasn't Spike, it was William.  
  
"What the-" she said as she stared at this man, not demon, that she didn't think she had known as what he was in this form, but felt as though she still knew him better than herself.  
  
Before Buffy could really say anything, he had two fingers covering her lips to keep her from doing just that. "Follow me," he instructed and pulled his fingers away.  
  
The Slayer did as she was told and followed William down the ladder to the lower level of 'his' crypt. What she saw made her feel happy...but like a horrible person, too.  
  
She saw herself and Spike. They had only used the bed a couple of times last year during their sexcapades, and what she was watching was one of those times.  
  
Spike thrust into her and she heard herself moan his name. It was odd to be watching this for Buffy, but she remembered all the feelings it had brought her then...and how she felt about him now.  
  
She watched as Spike continued thrusting into Buffy, then she saw herself role them over and ride him until the vampire and her doppleganger both cried out and she collapsed on his chest for a moment.  
  
The Buffy watching this saw the tenderness she hadn't noticed Spike show before...because before, she hadn't wanted to notice. She turned towards William and asked, "Why did I see this?"  
  
He looked into her eyes and answered, "You have to decide Buffy," the scene changed to Spike killing his first Slayer, then to William the Bloody Awful Poet crying sfter his heart was broken. Then, the human Spike continued, "Am I demon or man?"~  
  
Buffy woke up with a start, his question still replaying in her mind, 'Demon or man?'  
  
She ran to Xander's apartment and knocked on the door. She knew it was still early in the morning, but this was important.  
  
Xander groggily opened the door to be greeted by a very awake Slayer. "Hey, Buffy."  
  
"Hi, Xander. Is Spike home?" she asked quickly.  
  
Her friend nodded, then she hurried off to Spike's room. Xander just closed the door and stared after her.  
  
Buffy knocked a couple times and Spike answered, "What is it now, Harris?"  
  
The Slayer turned the knob and pushed the door open, "I'm not Xander," she then closed the door behind her. He smiled at her, happy to see his love, but not remembering why he couldn't look her in the eye, he just knew that he couldn't.  
  
"Spike?" she asked, "Why are you avoiding my eyes?" She had seen that quickly, something was different.  
  
He still didn't look into her hazel eyes, but replied, "I don't know, Buffy, but I know that's not why you came here. So, why did you come here?"  
  
She finally got her eyes to make contact with his and he saw a flash of a memory from the night before, but brushed it off. "I had a dream tonight." He looked at her, his eyes questioning the importance of this and she spoke again, "It asked me something and I need the answer to, because I'm not sure yet."  
  
Spike looked at her hard, "What was the question?"  
  
"Demon or man."  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
Buffy fidgeted, "Whether I think you're demon or man."  
  
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Author's Note 2: I know this chapter was of the weird, but please review and tell me what you think. Oh, is this chapter a little short? If it is, sorry. 


End file.
